It's funny but sad as well that my feelings are upside down, quite messy actually. I feel like breaking into pieces with helplessness. I used to be able to control my emotion, and now it's controlling me, which is very childish.
That was me some years ago....
I have been thru lots of ups and down, which made me a person like I am now.
Still trying to be self composed, although panic often comes as I realized I dont have much time left.

How much you mean to me

Well, one never realizes how much the other one means unless that person disappears from her life. Isn't it tragic? Or even a thing can mean a lot to us, although you can buy it, but it won't be the same. Relationship plays a central role in our life.