Oct 27, 2018
I never realized totally that everything has to come to an end. My service as a teacher, which I really love, which means I have to let go the desire to see and interact with them. Not only that, I had to say goodbye to Whatsapp groups which had been accompanying and entertaining me in my lonely time. I feel so lost being cut off from the funny chats and fresh comments. I've become addicted to those chats and the teachers' groups around me. The facts that I don't have to attend so many workshops anymore nor do other duties leave me feel useless and unstable. Why do I still want to teach, I don't know. I think this is a syndrome. I think I want very much to be considered active and capable although I am retired.
Saturday, October 27, 2018
Sunday, January 7, 2018
The point of no return....
Finally I have come to the end of my service to my beloved school. I'm reaching the age which people say, rest and enjoy the remaining time God gives you. In a way that sounds lovely, but not all have the same feelings towards that.
Since I was a child, I was always fascinated with schools, subjects, lessons, works, exams, friends, and many more.... I was always eager to start school, after holiday, because that means I would get new lessons, new things that I didn't know. I always welcomed all homework given and finished it the same day, so my classmates could see the answers, and we could discuss how or why about that.
Because of limited activities we could do, even during school holidays, I reviewed all my lessons, so when school started, I was totally ready for any questions. Funny right?
High school was fun although I had to struggle a bit. I was happy being accepted in a number one school in my town, much bigger one with lots more friends, totally different yet more sophisticated teachers, more difficult subjects and work and more entertaining activities. It was awesome! I never enjoyed more that time, the first time I felt going to school was really a big thing. Finishing my junior high, I decided that I had to go to number one senior high. I worked hard, and finally I was accepted there. Yay!
I thought my senior high would be better than my junior high, but many of my school friends decided to go to number two, which was friendlier than mine. The students coming from top ranks around the town, were very competitive and less caring. I failed to make friends with any of my classmates, because I was only a year there, as I had to move to this capital.
Finally I have come to the end of my service to my beloved school. I'm reaching the age which people say, rest and enjoy the remaining time God gives you. In a way that sounds lovely, but not all have the same feelings towards that.
Since I was a child, I was always fascinated with schools, subjects, lessons, works, exams, friends, and many more.... I was always eager to start school, after holiday, because that means I would get new lessons, new things that I didn't know. I always welcomed all homework given and finished it the same day, so my classmates could see the answers, and we could discuss how or why about that.
Because of limited activities we could do, even during school holidays, I reviewed all my lessons, so when school started, I was totally ready for any questions. Funny right?
High school was fun although I had to struggle a bit. I was happy being accepted in a number one school in my town, much bigger one with lots more friends, totally different yet more sophisticated teachers, more difficult subjects and work and more entertaining activities. It was awesome! I never enjoyed more that time, the first time I felt going to school was really a big thing. Finishing my junior high, I decided that I had to go to number one senior high. I worked hard, and finally I was accepted there. Yay!
I thought my senior high would be better than my junior high, but many of my school friends decided to go to number two, which was friendlier than mine. The students coming from top ranks around the town, were very competitive and less caring. I failed to make friends with any of my classmates, because I was only a year there, as I had to move to this capital.
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
It's funny but sad as well that my feelings are upside down, quite messy actually. I feel like breaking into pieces with helplessness. I used to be able to control my emotion, and now it's controlling me, which is very childish.
That was me some years ago....
I have been thru lots of ups and down, which made me a person like I am now.
Still trying to be self composed, although panic often comes as I realized I dont have much time left.
That was me some years ago....
I have been thru lots of ups and down, which made me a person like I am now.
Still trying to be self composed, although panic often comes as I realized I dont have much time left.
Sunday, March 22, 2015
How much you mean to me
Well, one never realizes how much the other one means unless that person disappears from her life. Isn't it tragic? Or even a thing can mean a lot to us, although you can buy it, but it won't be the same. Relationship plays a central role in our life.
Saturday, May 24, 2014
about me
so. hi. My name is Memie and used to be skinny. I was born in Surabaya, a memorable town at the northeast tip of east Java- where I also grew up until I was 16. I remember my childhood and half of my teen spent there... so very unusual. Up to now I'm still questioning why I was born on this planet. let's start like this, suddenly the earliest of what I can recall was finding myself living in a big dutch house fully decorated by wall paper where I often dreamt of what it was like if I could live upside down .The ceiling was rather unusual, that made me so obsessed with ceiling. Another thing that I fancied is the size of my old house in Surabaya that my parents often found it difficult to locate me. I really enjoyed that, because I had greatest time on my solitaire and building up my fantasy castles about my life in my mind.
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
a thought for myself today
well. hello. today, i'd like to congratulate myself for finally having this blog that i have been dreaming for a long time. so, congratulations, Memie! my deepest thanks is for the person who has created this for me. i hope this blog will entertain (if possible) and inspire anybody who reads this.
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